Anxiety

Mid-Month Checkup: March Goals

Here we are at another Monday. January seemed to drag on so slowly and now here we are more half-way through March.

Let’s reflect on how my March Focus goals have been doing so far:

Focus on my work and school work:

  • I downloaded an app called HabitBull to track my good habits. I love it because I’m very data driven and it creates graphs based on your performance!
  • I’ve started breaking down more of my tasks into smaller parts to make them easier to complete. I have completed quite a bit of work on my dissertation so far because I’m made it seem more manageable.
  • I have tried to take on more of an active role at work while also trying not to spread myself too thin. I know when to say no and how to prioritize things a little better.
  • To keep myself engaged in what I’m doing, when I do work at home (school or otherwise), I set a timer for about 30-45 minutes. I work on one task for that time, take a break, and then switch gears to something else. It seems to be working so far.

Focus on my health:

  • Well, if you asked me how my immune system is doing, I’d say not great. But judging by the last three months, I’ve started seeing a pattern of when I start getting sick: the week leading up to my menstrual cycle. In the past few days, I’ve started taking supplements daily to help kick my immune system and overall health into gear: probiotics, Omega 3’s, Vitamin D, Calcium, Magnesium, iron, and a multivitamin.
  • I got a gym membership at a new gym this month and have been twice already and have created a fitness journal and written down workout ideas. I am hoping to start going 2-3 times a week (perhaps more).
  • I started stretching every morning!
  • My skin care routine is great! Feels like a normal part of my morning and evening and it feels so soft.
  • I have written in my Five Minute Journal every day this month so far! Haven’t missed a day. It has been a great, positive way to start and end the day and it has become more of a habit than it was in the past.
  • My anxiety has been up and down this month with a few more down times than I was expecting. Meditating and remembering to stay grounded has helped and I have been looking up other strategies to get through tough moments of panic.

Focus on my relationships with others:

  • I have taken more of an active effort in my friendships – spending more time answering texts, talking to them on the phone, and making plans to see them.
  • I continue to reflect on these friendships and welcome new ones into my life.
  • I am appreciating times with my mom more. She has always been my best friend and my number one support system in my life and as I grow up, I want to return the favour and support her in any way that I can.
  • During this incredibly busy time of year, my boyfriend and I despite distance and responsibilities manage to appreciate the time we do get to talk and spend together even if it’s working on things together, sharing things about our day at the end of the day on the phone, and support one another with all that we do and I am so grateful to have him in my life in such a positive and loving way.

I still have some work to do this month in each of these three aspects, but there is still time to “focus” on them.

Happy Monday, everyone and have a great week!

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Making a List & Checking it Twice

It’s Wellness Wednesday of March Break! I am working today so not entirely a break but it isn’t so bad when you love what you do.

To help break down all the thoughts in my head and all the things I feel like I have to do, I like to make lists: grocery lists, to-do lists, pros/cons lists, and lists about lists. I contain most of them in a notebook purely dedicated for making lists.

This is what the first page of my lists book looks like:

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There are several benefits for list making.

  1. For one, it reduces anxiety. I find that getting things out of my head and onto paper makes me feel almost instantly better.
  2. It holds you accountable. Just like I decided to post every day about my Whole 30 journey to hold me accountable, writing down your task and goals allows you to be accountable to yourself.
  3. It helps you organize your thoughts in one place. It reduces clutter and I like to break my big thoughts and tasks into smaller subsequent parts.
  4. …which leads me to this point: it feels damn good crossing something off your list. You get feelings of higher productivity and higher self-esteem.
  5. Lists help keep your priorities in check. Today I made a list of all the things I have to do from sorting my laundry and cleaning my room and writing my dissertation. Having it written down allows you to see them all and figure out what should be done first, and create strategies for getting them done.

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I have two to do lists on the go right now. There is one with ~50 things on it that I need to get done (a larger list). I have another that I like in my agenda that is on the side that I fill out weekly, which is more short term goals.

Here is a link to an interesting article I read entitled “How Making Lists Can Quell Anxiety and Breed Creativity” by Carrie Barron, M.D.

Happy Wellness Wednesday!

“Every day’s to-do list.
1.) Listen
2.) Trust
3.) Do”
― A.D. Posey

One Brave Night

Last year, I participated in CAMH’s event One Brave Night. CAMH One Brave Night for Mental Health™ is a Canada-wide challenge to inspire hope for those affected by mental illness. It starts now and continues through to Friday, April 6.

For those who are unfamiliar with CAMH, it is the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health. It is the largest mental health and addictions teaching hospital. Their One Brave Night campaign has had the following impact for mental health initiatives:

  • Create three new youth clinics to help address the gap in mental health treatment.
  • Inspire hope through discovery by testing new treatment options for people with severe and treatment-resistant depression.
  • Publish over 500 journal articles, sharing the incredible discoveries made at CAMH.
  • Continue to redevelop CAMH facilities to build treatment, education and research spaces that reflect respect for patients and hope for recovery.
  • Expand effective and timely access to mental health services in remote and underserved communities around the country through technology and access to telepsychiatry.

I am proud to say that I am taking part in it again this year and have set my fundraising goal at $250.

If you are interested in supporting my fundraising efforts, you can donate at this link. If you are interested in joining my fundraising team, you may do so at this link. My Team Name is Stomp Out Stigma.

Happy Motivation Monday!

Whole 30 Day 22

How I’m Feeling

First, I want to mention how I’m feeling outside of the Whole 30 experience since this is also a blog to share my anxiety experiences. If you read yesterday’s post, you would have seen that maybe yesterday was not exactly a great day. Today, I will say, is much better for the most part. I went to the hospital to visit my friend. Although he was not awake, I enjoyed speaking with his wife and family members there. Praying for his lovely family and friends.

Whole 30 wise, I feel pretty good. My energy levels continue to be high. I managed to stay full from lunch until a late dinner at 8pm tonight. I appear less bloated in the mirror and I am beginning to regret not taking before and after pics for my Whole 30 Journey.

What I Ate

Breakfast: egg muffins! I forgot I froze some. So glad I found them.

Lunch: White chicken chilli. Also forgot I froze some of this as well.

Dinner: roasted bacon brussel sprouts with buffalo chicken tots from one of my new favourite recipe books: The Keto Diet by Leanne Vogel. So easy and so tasty!

Whole 30 Day 7

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How I’m Feeling

I’m less tired than yesterday. My moods have dropped a bit but there are several possible factors for this:
1. Terrible snowy start to the day. The drive was slick and slow and did not set the tone for the day in a positive manner.
2. It was the first “full” day back to work. I love my job, but Mondays get even the best of us.
3. My anxiety has been a bit higher than usual. While I have managed to keep it under control, it has impacted my overall mood.

I have been craving weird things today: citrus fruits (so naturally I bought a pack of them) and seafood.

What I Ate Today

Breakfast: I did not have eggs for breakfast today! I had a “cereal” made up of fruit and slivered almonds with almond milk.

Snack: An apple, sliced.

Lunch: Leftover fajita chicken and shrimp! Deelish.

Dinner: To satisfy my seafood craving, I made a seafood medley (salmon and shrimp) in coconut oil with garlic. As a side, I made butternut squash noodles with spinach and mushrooms from Tasting Page.

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For breakfast for the week, I made some Breakfast Egg Muffins! I can’t wait to freeze them and eat them this week so I don’t have to stress about what I’m going to eat as I run out the door. Mine have prosciutto, baby spinach, onion, mushroom, and garlic in it.

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An Anxious Minute

Inhale…

I am trapped in my mind and sometimes, I don’t know how to escape it.

A rolling script plays in my mind with all of the items on my to-do list. The anxious side of my brain is screaming. “You have to get them done! What are you doing sitting around?” The depressed side of my brain lacks motivation and drive and I sit still and lifeless. The response effort just to type this post is almost unbearably too high.

Two minutes ago, I was asked, “how are you?” Without hesitation, I responded, “Good, thanks, how are you?”

I’m not good. Why is it so easy to lie like that? Putting up a fake front to others is so easy for me. Almost too easy. If I go too long putting on the fake, happy front, I literally feel exhausted afterwards.

Exhale.

I forget to breathe sometimes. Steady breaths. I haven’t been to therapy in about a year. I was tired of paying someone to teach me techniques I could learn from Pinterest posts.

Inhale.

Five things I see: a door, the tv, my boots, my phone, my thumbs typing this post.

Exhale. It’s not working. What a stupid exercise.

Inhale.

How many other people around me are pretending to be someone they’re not?

Exhale.

My current heart rate has decreased from 104 to 88. I have turned on the Relax function on my FitBit.

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

This will pass, I tell myself. This will pass.

It’s just an anxious minute.

Welcome to From Panic to Plate!

Welcome to a safe place where you can read about two different things which are often connected: my experiences with anxiety and my experiences with food.

Read my story in the About section to learn about my journey of being diagnosed with Panic Disorder.

I look forward to inspiring your minds by both keeping the conversation regarding mental illness open and honest and by sharing recipes with you I have enjoyed making over the past few years.

Cheers,

– M.

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