Struggles with Body Image

If you haven’t already, check out the About the Author page where you can read a bit about my story of diagnosis and how I got to this point in my life.

Today, I want to talk about my struggles with body image.

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I did not always have body image issues. I mean why would I? Up until I was 18, I was a size zero. My sisters even worried I had an eating disorder of some sort because I had become unusually thin. By the end of first year university, I was a size 5. Clothes didn’t fit like they used to.

“Oh great,” I thought. “Another case of Freshman 15.” By the end of third year, I was a size 12 and if you read my bio, it hit me hard.

I now am a happy size 8 and I still look at numbers on the scale and sometimes, I cry about it. My weight fluctuates a lot. Some weeks are better than others. In addition to the medication I was on previously, I admit, I used to stress eat.

Last year, I tried the Whole 30 Program and honestly, I loved it. It was hard but I learned so much about food freedom from it.

This past year, I tried the 21 Day Fix. While I have mixed feelings about this one, the 30-minute accompanying workouts were amazing.  I will write more about these two programs in a later blog.

I have made every excuse in the book not to work out. And I still feel that some of those reasons were justified. My lifestyle with school and commuting for work did not allow for even 30 minutes of working out. I would pack my bag, set out my clothes for the next day, and go to bed immediately after work since I was working 8am to 12am shifts with an hour commute on top of that. Then I worked at a place where I was commuting from city to city with no place to heat up my lunch so I would often eat out.

Life has slowed down since then. I now happily work closer to home at a job where I can bring my lunch and eat it on-site. I have made more of a conscious effort to meal prep healthier meals.

However, sometimes when I look in the mirror, I hate what I see – especially my mid-section. But I’m now doing the best I can to work harder towards learning to love my body for what it is. I am currently doing a 31 Day Yoga Challenge to both give me 30 minutes of physical activity a day and to bring together the mind-body connection.  Rather than obsess over numbers on a scale, I look at how clothes fit me better. It isn’t easy, but I am determined to reach my goals and fall back in love with my physical self. 663c500d2ec0fa6a4647573d53ae73de.jpg

 

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